Modern Microwave Church

Recently the media went big with news that say microwave popcorn increases the risk of certain cancers. Hit Google up and search out Microwave Popcorn cancer. I mean, it was so easy to make, take the plastic wrapper off, toss it in the microwave and hit the popcorn button. Convenient! Now we find out people have been dying with cancer from this so-called "healthy" snack. Yea that stinks. This study has been going on for nearly 10 years too. So they knew something was amiss along time before the general public knew. When was the last time you took an ounce of good old peanut oil put it in a deep sauce pan with a few old school corn kernels and let her pop away? It really puts that microwave junk in the gutter for flavor and texture and it's so much cheaper. This is leading somewhere.

Recently in my old church the pastor "preached" a message that was, in my opinion, rather confusing and very disorganized. It was like watching a 6 year old trying to juggle watermelons. So he tries to save it by bringing it together with a "touching" video he found on Internet. A few people were moved by this video and a few people got up and left.

Welcome to the Microwave Church

Easy, convenient, quick, and umm...healthy?

Those who were moved were enticed by the microwave church and I pray God opens your eyes to what I am going to say.

The microwave church is the "modern church" with all the bells and whistles. Bam! Preaching from the hip. Got to have the new music and throw it at the congregation like rice at wedding. So let's all sit back and watch the birds kill over as their stomachs explode. Got to have the latest books for group study and there's no need to bring your Bible because we'll have everything on the wide screen hi-def projector. Yea we had to move the Holy Cross over to the side for the screen but that's okay since it's for the best. Oh, if you don't know the words to the songs they will also be displayed on the projectors for you to lip sync to since you don't know the music.

I find that projectors work best in low light conditions and I'm going to say it...you can put that projector where the sun don't shine.

I'm telling you the truth. People don't even need a Bible at church so why should they have one at home? It's all reprinted on copy machines and displayed on cloth hung from the walls. Read your bible they say but not everyone has a projector at home. Come to the altar to pray for your soul they plead. They are off to the sides since it wasn't convenient having them in front of the pulpit.

The church ends up being a country club of self righteous people starving for truth but can't find it because they have been lead astray by the microwave atmosphere. Soon they all start to leave to find something new and filling. That fullness lies with the Father in the basic strengths of Christianity we have so long forgotten. We trim our services down to let out the same time as applebees opens. We don't hold sunday night services and we don't cater to anyone over 30. But if you're a teenager beg mom and dad for some offering money because we'll need it. Just tell them their not invited unless they want to help struggle with hyperactive microwaved kids.

3000 years ago my Lord and Saviour suffered on a cross and he was wrapped in cloth and laid in a grave and 3 days later rose again. 3000 years ago disciples facing death and persecution wrote down the gospels on papyrus paper and it survived being transcribed over and over again against all tyrants and uncountable odds to this very day. And now our church devalues it to the point it's only a short lived image on the wall where the cross used to hang.

Read what Jesus Christ said and see if I am wrong.

Matthew 23

Then Jesus said to the crowds and to his disciples: "The teachers of the law and the Pharisees sit in Moses' seat. So you must obey them and do everything they tell you. But do not do what they do, for they do not practice what they preach. They tie up heavy loads and put them on men's shoulders, but they themselves are not willing to lift a finger to move them.

"Everything they do is done for men to see: They make their phylacteries wide and the tassels on their garments long; they love the place of honor at banquets and the most important seats in the synagogues; they love to be greeted in the marketplaces and to have men call them 'Rabbi.'

"But you are not to be called 'Rabbi,' for you have only one Master and you are all brothers. And do not call anyone on earth 'father,' for you have one Father, and he is in heaven. Nor are you to be called 'teacher,' for you have one Teacher, the Christ. The greatest among you will be your servant. For whoever exalts himself will be humbled, and whoever humbles himself will be exalted.

"Woe to you, teachers of the law and Pharisees, you hypocrites! You shut the kingdom of heaven in men's faces. You yourselves do not enter, nor will you let those enter who are trying to.

"Woe to you, teachers of the law and Pharisees, you hypocrites! You travel over land and sea to win a single convert, and when he becomes one, you make him twice as much a son of hell as you are.

"Woe to you, blind guides! You say, 'If anyone swears by the temple, it means nothing; but if anyone swears by the gold of the temple, he is bound by his oath.' You blind fools! Which is greater: the gold, or the temple that makes the gold sacred?

You also say, 'If anyone swears by the altar, it means nothing; but if anyone swears by the gift on it, he is bound by his oath.' You blind men! Which is greater: the gift, or the altar that makes the gift sacred? Therefore, he who swears by the altar swears by it and by everything on it. And he who swears by the temple swears by it and by the one who dwells in it. And he who swears by heaven swears by God's throne and by the one who sits on it.

"Woe to you, teachers of the law and Pharisees, you hypocrites! You give a tenth of your spices—mint, dill and cummin. But you have neglected the more important matters of the law—justice, mercy and faithfulness. You should have practiced the latter, without neglecting the former. You blind guides! You strain out a gnat but swallow a camel.

"Woe to you, teachers of the law and Pharisees, you hypocrites! You clean the outside of the cup and dish, but inside they are full of greed and self-indulgence.Blind Pharisee! First clean the inside of the cup and dish, and then the outside also will be clean.

"Woe to you, teachers of the law and Pharisees, you hypocrites! You are like whitewashed tombs, which look beautiful on the outside but on the inside are full of dead men's bones and everything unclean. In the same way, on the outside you appear to people as righteous but on the inside you are full of hypocrisy and wickedness.

"Woe to you, teachers of the law and Pharisees, you hypocrites! You build tombs for the prophets and decorate the graves of the righteous. And you say, 'If we had lived in the days of our forefathers, we would not have taken part with them in shedding the blood of the prophets.' So you testify against yourselves that you are the descendants of those who murdered the prophets.Fill up, then, the measure of the sin of your forefathers!

"You snakes! You brood of vipers! How will you escape being condemned to hell? Therefore I am sending you prophets and wise men and teachers. Some of them you will kill and crucify; others you will flog in your synagogues and pursue from town to town. And so upon you will come all the righteous blood that has been shed on earth, from the blood of righteous Abel to the blood of Zechariah son of Berekiah, whom you murdered between the temple and the altar. I tell you the truth, all this will come upon this generation.

"O Jerusalem, Jerusalem, you who kill the prophets and stone those sent to you, how often I have longed to gather your children together, as a hen gathers her chicks under her wings, but you were not willing. Look, your house is left to you desolate. For I tell you, you will not see me again until you say, 'Blessed is he who comes in the name of the Lord.' "

Mark my word - Your church is going to fall into dust if you continue to abandon the word of God and push aside the Holy for a modern microwave church.

Speaking of touching videos - here's one my brother sent me that was chain mailed to him. Oddly enough it fits exactly what I said.